Hello, Old Pal

Depression is so smart. It really is. It’s a fucking genius. It always knows what to do. It morphs and melts and slips into the tiny cracks of my brain. It waits. It plans. I remember when depression used to talk to me. I remember it telling me I was useless and stupid. It told […]

Unfavorable Me

I’m fighting a battle against myself. The things that make me happy are also the things that bring me the most anguish. It’s time I call into question my habits, and ask whether the net effect was ever positive. I give excessively to those I care about. It’s both an unconscious extension of my anxiety, and […]

Strange Familiar

This is not how it feels to have my heart broken. It’s been broken for years. This is not how it feels to lose a friend. I knew we were never really friends. This is how it feels to come to terms with the idea that I care so little about myself that I was complicit in […]

Funny Writing

Today I tried to write jokes while crying. Is that funny? There might be something funny there. I think the reason I can’t figure out if that’s a funny situation is because I am not funny. Except when I am funny. When I can make someone else laugh it comes as no surprise to me. Why […]