Letter to My Lovely Disappointment


Love has a way of making one think anything can be accomplished through it. What it can’t do, however, is force a person to return love. So if you love someone who can never return those feelings, what do you do? Should you resign yourself to quietly pretending? Or do you try, until your last breath, to get through? It almost seems like a betrayal to yourself to give up on love. Then again, I’m sure the correct response to that is that to pursue a person who doesn’t share your feelings is to act as if you don’t deserve to be loved.

Just so you know, in case you’ve never been in that situation, that’s not the way it feels. It feels like you should never give up. To do so would be to lose faith in yourself and in your love. Love is supposed to be enough, you think. It’s supposed to get you through anything. If you believe in it, it’s supposed to do whatever you want it to.

I’ve always done that. I’ve always come back for you because I couldn’t understand how we could be so close for so long and not feel the same way. But I’ve always ended up heartbroken. So I’ll try the other thing. I’ll do what I never wanted to do, told myself I’d never do. What seems like the hardest, dumbest, most unnatural thing in the world to me. I’ll give up. I’ll give up on you. I’ll give up on you loving me.

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